Sexuality On Wings
by OUTtrioHetalia
Summary: Everyone in this world has wings, usually coloured based on either hair or eye colour. Most people like to show off their wings, and besides that they are essential to many people, but not Lovino Vargas. He was born with wings that represented his sexuality, and he hides them because of what they represent. SpaMano, initial SpaBel, Wingtalia
1. Chapter 1

Lovino gazed at his wings in the mirror, running a hand over the bright feathers as he stretched his wings out to their full span. They were soft, but they could have been in a much better condition if he'd taken the time to preen and care about them in general.

It wasn't often that he truly looked after them, he didn't see the point when they would return to looking like they did currently in less time that it would take to care for them. Most of the time he just stretched them like he was doing now, it was important that he did so since he usually kept them folded all day.

His wings were different than most people's. While they usually had wings that were their hair or eye colour, he had wings that represented his sexuality. This was a trait passed down from his mother, but only he had received it out of him and his brother, which only made him more negative about his wings. The blue, purple and pink feathers in all honesty were quite beautiful, but he refused to admit they were because of the struggles they'd caused him.

"Fratello! I'm leaving now for school, Luddy's flying with me today, isn't it exciting?" Lovino sighed as he heard the excited voice of his two years younger brother Feliciano from behind the door, folding his wings up and pressing them against his back before putting on a large, black sweater that hid them. He left the bathroom, rolling his eyes at the other and beginning to head towards the stairs.

"Whatever, have fun with the potato bastard," he said as he walked past him, ignoring any other comments that Feliciano had to make. It was the first Monday of the second week back at school at the start of his senior year, and Lovino wasn't in the mood to deal with his brother bugging him all morning.

He grabbed his lunch from the fridge that he'd made the night before, packing it into his bag that he'd left on the floor next to the stairs. Even if he could seem quite lazy and unmotivated, he was actually quite prepared most of the time, something that in hindsight made life easier.

After returning back to the kitchen to grab an apple, he left the house with his bag slung on his shoulder, beginning to eat it on his way out. Lovino wasn't usually someone who ate breakfast, but he didn't want to have to wait until lunch to eat.

The walk to school wasn't too long, but it was hot outside and it was times like these that he regretted wearing a sweater all the time. However, he would put up with it to avoid having his wings been seen, he had been doing the same thing for years and he could last just a little bit longer. "Why the hell is it this hot this early," he grumbled, rolling his sleeves up to his elbows to try and cool down a little. At least he hadn't run into anyone too annoying that morning, though he knew that was likely to change very soon.

He knew that he had been right when he heard the soft flapping of wings as someone landed behind him, not bothering to turn and look since there were a limited amount of people that it would be.

"It's the start of fall, of course it's still going to be hot for a little while. Winter is still a couple of months away," came a soft voice. Lovino only then turned to look at the other person, a less annoyed, almost gentle expression on his face that he only reserved for a select few.

"Morning, Matthew," he said with a nod, gesturing for the other to follow him. He'd known the Canadian ever since Lovino had moved there two years ago to live with Romulus and Feliciano, he'd been one of his first friends since he'd arrived. Although his friendship with Matthew could be considered unexpected, particularly considering their personalities, they got along extremely well.

Matthew was calm and level headed (unless he was playing hockey or had a good reason to be angry), and was patient enough to not get frustrated when Lovino was annoyed, and Lovino had the tendency to get annoyed very quickly, particularly around those he didn't trust. Lovino was more outgoing than Matthew usually was, and was one of the very few people that would speak up if people didn't listen to him, but he was also good at listening to him if there was something wrong.

Matthew gave a smile to his friend, following along beside him in comfortable silence until they got to school. Mornings weren't Lovino's thing, something the other knew quite well, and so most of the time if Matthew walked with Lovino to school it was in silence. The quiet was gladly welcomed, since most of their day was surrounded by loud people anyway, particularly when they mainly hung around the Bad Friends Duo- no, trio.

Francis was Matthew's cousin, and Gilbert was Matthew's crush. More complicated then that, Gilbert had also managed to become Lovino's closest friend (other than Matthew) because of some things that had happened when Lovino had first arrived, and so even if the Italian didn't really like Francis they still hung out as a group.

The start of the new school year was bound to be a cause for change, however, and so when he'd arrived the week before he'd discovered that there was a new addition to the Bad Friends Duo, creating the Bad Friends Trio. This new person was Antonio Carriedo, a Spanish man that had transferred to the school for his last year, and Lovino found him unbearably annoying.

The Italian was frustrated more often then not at school because of him, the male was too damn happy all the time and wouldn't leave him alone. Apparently there must be something interesting about him though, since no matter how much he'd shouted at him the Spaniard wouldn't be disheartened and would continue hanging around him.

There wasn't much he could do though, he could tell that Gilbert and Francis already were quite fond of him as their friend, and he couldn't bring himself to truly make an attempt at kicking Antonio out of their group. He sighed thinking about it, walking a little slower since the building was now in sight and he wanted to extend the time he had before he officially arrived at school. He still had a good twenty minutes to go to his locker before the warning bell went, so it wasn't like he was in a rush.

Of course, it wasn't like he would have his way, and an excited voice could be heard as someone ran up to him, and a pair of arms could be felt wrapping around him. He wasn't surprised at who they belonged to, there was only one person that would greet him like that.

"Hey Lovi! Did you have a good weekend? Mine was awesome, I met up with Gil and Franny and we hung out, I haven't gotten to do that with anybody since I arrived," Antonio said cheerfully, a large grin on his face. The Spaniard's emerald green wings, the colour of his eyes, were spread out a little in his excitement.

"Why the hell would I tell you, tomato bastard," he growled, pulling himself away from the other. A light blush coated his cheeks when he did pull away, but if anyone asked it was 'because he was angry, there was no way that he liked being hugged, especially by Antonio'. As usual though, his harsh reply didn't wipe the grin off the other's face, which made Lovino sigh slightly.

"Because we're friends," was the reply, causing Lovino to scowl a little and begin walking off towards the school gate, Matthew following close behind. He didn't know what was worse, he'd managed to escape one annoyance, Feliciano, but now he was stuck with Antonio, who was likely to follow him around until he saw Gilbert or Francis.

Antonio did follow him, and he kept on talking about what his weekend was like, and Lovino resigned to staying silent and pretending he wasn't there. Even when Matthew had gone to his own locker, Antonio had stayed, not seeming to mind in the slightest that Lovino wasn't giving him much attention.

At last, when he got to his locker, Antonio had spotted Francis and said goodbye to Lovino. He could hear the cheerful greeting that the other was giving Francis from his locker, and the reply back sounded pretty happy as well. A sigh escaped his lips when he opened his locker, as much as he didn't like the Spaniard it was a little bit nice to have someone that would bother to talk to him, right now he had nobody until he arrived at his class.

He got his books for his morning classes, chucking his bag in his locker before closing it, walking off quite fast and seemingly annoyed on his way to his next class. There wasn't any point hanging near his locker anyway, it wasn't like anybody was paying attention to him.

What Lovino didn't realise was that a certain Spaniard was watching him with curious green eyes as he walked off, that bright grin still present.


	2. Chapter 2

Once he'd arrived at his first class, which happened to be mathematics, he almost immediately sat down in his seat in the back corner. Lovino wore an expression that could almost be considered a scowl, that most of the people in that class were used to at that point. There was a spot beside him that was currently empty, and as a few more people filled the room nobody bothered to fill it.

Why? Because that seat was reserved for one of the members of the Bad Friends Trio. Besides, nobody particularly wanted to deal with Lovino anyway, so nobody else would sit there or ask him to move to a different seat before the seat was filled.

He was looking on his phone, grateful for the cold air from the air conditioning that made wearing a sweater more bearable. The scowl still remained, but it seemed to lose any harshness when another person sat down beside him. The Italian looked up, giving the other a nod that acknowledged his presence and putting his phone away into his pocket.

"Guten morgen, Gilbert," he said, watching as the pale skinned teen dumped his bag on the floor beside him.

"Morning," came the reply, along with a relaxed smile. "You're pronunciation has improved, Vino."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," he said in reply, taking his math book and opening it to the next blank page. Lovino had taken German as the language he was learning, but because of his accent his pronunciation was usually a little off. He knew the words, so he could understand people talking and knew what to say, but the main thing was getting the pronunciation right.

"How are you?"

Lovino looked up at Gilbert from his book when he heard the 'Prussian' speak, pausing for a moment to think of his answer. "Capital B," he said with a sigh, "first Feliciano was bugging me this morning, apparently he feels the need to express how exciting it is that he gets to fly with your brother to school. Then of course, that tomato bastard won't leave me alone, but when he does it's to go hang with the snail eating frog. You?"

"Someone sounds a little jealous," Gilbert teased, before sighing and running a hand through his hair. "Probably lower case a, Ludwig had already left by the time I was out of the shower. He's been doing it a lot more lately."

"Fuck no! There's no way that I'd ever like him, that retard never leaves me alone," he groaned, a slight, barely noticeable tint of pink going to his cheeks as he thought about the hug he'd gotten that morning. Gilbert didn't notice it, and if he did he didn't point it out. "But about the other thing, you know who it would be good to talk to about? Matthew," he replied, Lovino's other best friend was usually in a similar situation with his younger brother Alfred.

"Yeah, I know, I just never get a chance to talk to him. Whenever we hang out, it's always with other people."

"Why, because you can't talk to him alone because you like him? I've told you a million times to ask him out."

"Vino, you know that's not true! The awesome me could definitely talk to him alone."

Lovino rolled his eyes in a 'sure you could' expression, not saying anything about the nickname. Even if it did mean 'wine' in Italian, Gilbert had no idea about that when he'd come up with it. The other male had simply wanted to come up with a nickname that the Italian didn't hate (like Lovi, he openly despised that nickname), and Vino was meant to be a shortening of Lovino. It actually meant a lot to him, since the only other people that called him that were Matthew, and now his cousin Sebastian, so it was like a symbol of friendship between them. Though if it was just those people, he'd go so far as to call it a symbol of family.

He was about to speak once again when the teacher walked into the room, beginning to write up stuff on the board. After spending twenty minutes explaining the new topic, he wrote up what section of their textbook that they had to work through and left them to it. Mr Park was pretty chill and let them talk or listen to music if they were on task, and any homework was just work that they didn't complete.

Gilbert glanced over at Lovino, doing some of his work while he started talking. They talked about minor things, really, there was a little bit more teasing on Lovino's part about the albino's crush on Matthew but not much else that was notable.

The work wasn't much of a problem for them, Gilbert could actually be quite smart when he put in effort and didn't slack off, and Lovino was average with his grades. Anything he needed help with, he grudgingly asked the male beside him to explain, since that was at least better than going up to the front desk to ask the teacher (which meant that the whole class would know that he needed help).

Unfortunately, that didn't last forever, and soon he was back in the hallway on his way to English. He didn't share this subject with Gilbert, but of course it was instead spent at a group of desks with both of the other members of the BFT, and a Belgium girl named Laura. Matthew was in that class as well, but he was seated in a group with Arthur and Ivan, and Lovino wasn't willing to move to that desk since he was slightly intimidated by the Russian.

By the time he'd gotten there, the warning bell had just rung (the bell five minutes before he would be late to class), and the other members of his table group were all sitting down already. Antonio had a bright smile on his face and waved to him as he entered, causing that minor blush from when he was speaking with Gilbert to return.

"Lovi! How was your first period? You had maths with Gilbert, right?"

Lovino sighed, sitting down himself in his seat beside Antonio and taking out his books for that lesson. "Firstly, don't call me that, bastard. Secondly, why the fuck would I tell you. If you really want to know you can just ask Gilbert later."

"Oh? So harsh, Lovino, Toni was just trying to be nice," Francis said teasingly from across the table.

"Don't worry, Franny, it's just Lovi's way of expressing his emotions. He's probably just extra annoyed at the moment," said Antonio, ignoring the fact that he was just told not to use the name 'Lovi'. The Spaniard smiled at Lovino, and the combination of the words and the smile caused the Italian to blush.

"Whatever," he murmured in response, looking down. He wasn't used to people sticking up for him like that, even if it was just Francis who was only joking and didn't actually mean it.

Laura, who was sitting across from Antonio and beside Francis smiled and blushed a little as she saw the interaction. Her wings, a mix of green, brown and blondish coloured feathers shifted a little, though it was barely noticeable. "That's really sweet, Toni! I'm glad that you two are becoming such good friends," she said with a happy look, smiling mostly at the man in front of her.

"We aren't friends, the tomato bastard here just won't leave me alone," Lovino explained bluntly, the blush on his face fading. Francis had noticed it but said nothing, by now he knew not to push the Italian's buttons too much.

"We aren't?" Antonio asked, a slightly hurt look flashing across his face briefly. Lovino didn't miss it, but the other two people on the table did. The Italian sighed, running a hand through his hair while avoiding the curl, staying quiet for a moment.

"Not yet."

Antonio said nothing in return, knowing that it would probably only annoy the other if he continued on that topic, though the smile on his face made it clear that he was happy. It wasn't a yes, but it wasn't a no like all the other times he'd asked. He wasn't sure why, but he felt like he wanted to be friends with the other, no matter how he acted.

For the rest of the class, Lovino basically ignored them, only speaking when it was necessary. English was his... he didn't know if it was his second or third language since he learnt another at the same time as English... well, since he had learnt other languages first (he knew three and was learning German as a fourth), he was good with speaking but still sometimes had trouble with the writing. English wasn't his favourite subject because of that, and the fact that he just didn't like the content, so he tried to avoid talking during it.

The rest of the table chatted when they could, particularly Laura and Antonio. Lovino couldn't help but notice this, causing him to scowl and look down, which both Francis and Matthew (who was sitting where he could see Lovino) saw.

When Antonio saw the scowl though, he assumed that it was because of the work that they were doing, which it partially was. They were meant to be annotating poetry, specifically 'The Waste Land' by T.S Eliot. Lovino had highlighted part of a line, and the Spaniard thought that the other had forgotten the name of it.

Pointing to the highlighted part with the back of his pen, 'Lilacs out of the dead land', Antonio spoke up. "Oh, that's juxtaposition. You know, where two things are put beside each other for the purpose of creating contrast." He gave the other a warm smile, before returning back to his own work.

Lovino didn't say anything to him, looking down at the green highlighted line as he tried not to blush because of the smile he'd just been given. Nobody ever really gave him genuine smiles like that, only the people that actually cared like Gilbert, Matthew and Sebastian.

As for juxtaposition, he had known what it was, of course, but didn't know the name of the word. It was particularly hard to remember all the terms, especially half of them all sounded the same, like allusion, alliteration, analogy, and anecdote.

He had no clue why he was still scowling though, there was no need to scowl. If he wanted Antonio to talk to him, he would actually take part in the conversation instead of ignoring him, right? There was no reason for him to get annoyed, the male next to him could talk to whomever he pleased, Lovino couldn't stop him. He refused to believe that part of the reason he was scowling was because Antonio was talking to Laura, just like he had scowled when Antonio had been talking to Francis earlier that morning.

That didn't stop the fact that he couldn't push away the urge to scowl, the slight pang of jealousy that came from seeing Antonio stop talking to him to talk to other people. It was stupid, really, there was no need to be jealous over something so small.

That would explain why Lovino left the class the second the teacher allowed them to, heading immediately to his next class, history, that nobody that he cared about was in. After that class, he went to his locker to collect his lunch, an annoyed look on his face.

He ignored anyone and everyone that called out to him (consisting of Antonio, Matthew, and surprisingly Laura), not wanting to socialise at that current moment. English had left him rather confused, and talking about it would make what he was feeling sound even more stupid than it did in his head.

—

After exchanging his bag for his lunch container, he headed immediately to a quieter part of the school, under a tree near the back gate. Not many people went to this area, most thought that it was too far to walk there and back and actually spend decent time there, since there was a rule that no flying was allowed on school grounds, though there were a few exceptions.

Of course, Lovino thought otherwise about the walking. Since he brought his own lunch, he didn't have to wait in line for cafeteria food, and could spend a good half an hour sitting there in peace and quiet.

The scowl on his face was pretty much gone by now, replaced by a frown. He slowly ate his lettuce, ham and tomato sandwich, his mind wandering back to the English class. There was no reason to be so worked up about it, to be annoyed about something so petty.

He was so caught up in thinking that he almost didn't notice Gilbert sitting down beside him, opening up his own lunch container.

"Lower case a, sort of capital B," he said softly, looking over to the albino with a sigh, the frown still in its place.

Gilbert said nothing, not wanting to question the other right at that moment. He would do that later, they would probably hang out together later that day anyway. One of his white, almost silvery wings wrapped around the other, his way of silently expressing that he was there for Lovino.

It was the least he could do, after everything the Italian had helped him with in the past, and continued to help him with even now.

XXXXXXXXXX

**(A/N)**

**If anyone can guess what Capital B and lower case a mean, I'll write them a one shot. **

**Hint: It's a system that Lovino uses with Gilbert to talk about how they're feeling without having to explain exactly what's going on.**


	3. Chapter 3

By the time lunch was nearing its end, Lovino hadn't said a single word relating the situation. He had however, eaten his lunch and begun to talk about other things.

Gilbert was quite accepting of that, and didn't mind the silence that they shared that lunch time. Matthew had come over halfway through and sat down beside Lovino. The Italian could see the two other males blushing slightly, and he knew that the two of them _really_ needed to talk about their feelings because it was frustrating to listen to their pining when he knew that they both liked each other.

"Then the unawesome jerk got me out right at the very end! And what's worse, he rubbed it in my face afterwards, saying 'you should have become one with me, da?'"

"You know, Ivan's not a bad guy if you get to know him Gil," came Matthew's reply, a soft blush on his face as he placed a hand on the white winged male's shoulder.

This action caused Gilbert to blush, and he looked away, but didn't pull away from the contact. "Whatever, you have fun with Ivan then," he said, his wings fluffing up a little. It was kind of obvious that he was jealous, but Lovino didn't say anything about it, and nor did Matthew.

"Geez," the Italian murmured, fixing up his hair a little. "You two, my house, four," he said, standing up and stretching before he started to walk off. When he was speaking that way, it wasn't because he was intending to be rude, he was just not in the best mood. Although he had improved from earlier, things were still so confusing at the moment.

Matthew and Gilbert didn't mind, turning to each other with a blush once he had left. After a (very awkward) goodbye, they too headed off in seperate directions to get to their locker quickly.

After he went to his locker, Lovino headed to his next few classes that included chemistry (with Gilbert and Francis), physics (alone) and German (with Matthew; Gilbert was learning french). The day blurred away, and by the end of it he'd lost most, if not all the bitterness that he'd previously held.

—

By the time he'd trudged home in the heat, he was rather tired, but at least he'd managed to avoid the Spaniard for the rest of the day. Well, avoid talking to him, that is. He couldn't lie that he'd noticed the other staring at him in the hallway, looking like he wanted to say something. He didn't though, maybe Gilbert had asked him not to... either way, he wasn't sure about how that had made him feel.

Roughly two minutes after getting home, there was a knock on the door, followed by voices. Lovino opened it, greeted with the blushing faces of his two friends. They didn't need to be asked to come in, but Lovino did anyway, mumbling a greeting and closing the door behind them.

The house was empty aside from the three of them, with his grandfather out and Feliciano presumably at Ludwig's. He knew that the younger German really wasn't a bad guy, but he was still slightly bitter about the fact that he was always with Feliciano. Partially because he wasn't as fond of Ludwig, and partially because he was jealous of how good of a relationship the pair had. He doubted that anyone would ever look at him the way they looked at each other, not when he had such a crappy personality.

"Come on," he said with a sigh, walking up to his room and taking off his sweater. His wings had gotten sore from being folded all day, so it was nice to stretch them and relieve the pain. Wings weren't meant to be folded up all day, they were meant for flying. Most people only ever folded them for convenience sake, and they would only ever do that for couple of hours a day at the most. Lovino was different, he kept them folded for at least six hours every day, most days more. It wasn't very good for his wings, but at this point he didn't really care.

His friends, however, seemed to think that his wings were a very important thing.

"Lovino! Gott, when was the last time you took care of your wings?" came the somewhat startled voice of Gilbert, who was looking at the crumpled feathers. Lovino hadn't preened them in a few weeks, not seeing the need to worry about them. It wasn't like anyone but them would be seeing his wings anyway, they were his best kept secret... apart from all the other well kept secrets about his past, some of which not even Gilbert or Matthew knew about.

The latter had seen his wings on accident one time, which was actually the beginning of their friendship. Lovino had hung around Matthew for a while to see if he could trust him not to blab his secret, and then just never left. There was no point hiding his wings from the Canadian when he already knew about them. And then Gilbert... it was a long story, but Lovino had willingly showed them to the albino after a couple of months of a friendship that was bound to last.

A sigh escaped his lips, he should have known that at least one of the two of them would mention the state of his wings. "A couple of weeks, at least, but it's no big deal," said Lovino, moving and sitting on the bed.

"That is a massive deal! You know we hate it when you don't look after your wings."

"Gilbert's right, even if you don't like your wings now, you never know what the future holds. You just might find someone that changes your mind about them, then you'll be glad," Matthew said softly, sitting down across from Lovino and patting the navy covers as an indication for Gilbert to sit down as well. "So, what is it that you wanted to talk about? I saw something happen in English, but I couldn't tell what it was from where I was sitting. And turn around."

Lovino sighed, waiting for Gilbert to be seated before he did as asked and turned. The other two began taking care of the mess of feathers that he called his wings. While this was usually something very personal that only significant other's or family would ever do for someone else, Lovino was a different case. He felt like Gilbert and Matthew were more of his family than many of his blood relatives, and often trusted them more with secrets than he did his grandfather and Feliciano. Lovino began to talk, knowing that they wouldn't let him get away without some sort of an explanation. Not after how he was acting earlier.

"It was just the tomato bastard being annoying again," he said, fiddling with the hem of his red shirt, looking down. It was a lame answer and they all knew it, but he wasn't sure if he was ready to talk about everything yet.

Matthew's voice was concerned and gentle, almost a little pleading. "Vino, it was more than that, and we both know it. Did he say something that upset you?"

"He didn't upset me, not really. Well, he did, but it wasn't his fault, it was just me being stupid. I was rude to him after he asked me if I had a good first lesson, but then he was kind in return! And he's like that all the time, no matter what I do, he still seems to find something good to say about me."

"And that's a bad thing? Isn't it good that you have someone else that wants to be your friend?" Gilbert was the one who spoke up this time, tilting his head as he continued removing the crumpled feathers from Lovino's right wing. A focused look was on his face as he did his best to preen the brightly coloured feathers.

Lovino shook his head, glancing over his shoulder at them for a brief moment. "That's part of the problem, that bastard shouldn't want to be friends with me. I'm a load of emotional shit, I curse like a sailor and haven't said anything nice to him the whole time I've known him."

Gilbert sighed, thinking for a moment and smoothing out some of the other's feathers. "I haven't known him for long, but that's just how Antonio is. He's willing to see past the surface, no matter how crude. And sure, you have baggage, but you know very well that I do too."

"But every time, _every single time_ I feel like I'm starting to not mind his company, he goes off and talks to someone else. It's just so fucking confusing, and it drives me crazy."

"It almost sounds like you're jealous, if I didn't know any better," said Matthew thoughtfully, already about half way through the process of preening. Gilbert turned to Matthew and gave him a look about what the Canadian had just said, silently questioning why he had said that.

"Fuck no, why would I be jealous? I have no reason to be, it's not like we're friends."

"Capital B and lower case a indeed."

"Shut up, Gil, I'm being serious here. There's no way in hell that I would ever get jealous over that bastard."

"If you say so~"

"Oh? What about you, getting all jealous because of Ivan earlier today."

"That was one time! Besides, it was perfectly understandable, I don't want him to steal my Birdie away."

"He isn't yours until you ask him out and he says yes, Gil. It's not hard, and I'm sure that he'll say yes."

"Guys..." Matthew said softly, looking down away from Gilbert. Even if they were only teasing each other a little, there were still things that they needed to discuss, and the way that the pale skinned make beside him was talking about some mystery guy (mystery guy being 'Birdie' and therefore Matthew) was making him jealous himself. "Aren't we meant to be talking about Lovino and Antonio?"

"As much as the bastard annoys me, it's not like I'm going to spend my whole afternoon talking about him." Lovino shook his head at Matthew, sighing. Could he be jealous of Antonio? He didn't want to believe it, not when he'd only known the other male for a week.

Seeing that his friend was not likely to elaborate any more on the situation, and that he probably needed some time to think things through, Matthew nodded in understanding. "Okay, Lovino," he said quietly, stopping the preening to pull out his phone.

The Canadian smiled (in reality it was more like a smirk) and picked out a particular song, starting to play it. Lovino groaned, but didn't put in any other complaints, while Gilbert just tilted his head in confusion.

"Work, work, Angelica~"

"Dammit, Matthew," he muttered, beginning to sing himself, though less enthusiastically than Matthew. "Work, work, Eliza."

"And Peggy!" the Canadian chimed in with a smile, beginning to preen once more.

The pair continued to sing the song, not missing a single lyric, and it almost seemed like an inside joke. It left the albino in the room in much confusion, but he didn't dare interrupt their song, they seemed to be enjoying it. Besides, he'd not gotten to hear Matthew sing like this before, and it was an opportunity too good to miss.

Once the song was over, Matthew fell into a fit of laughter, something he rarely did unless around people that he was really comfortable with. He was usually self conscious about his laugh and voice, but not around the other two. Gilbert was his crush, yes, but the 'Prussian' was his friend too and he was happy to be around him.

"You, uh, have a nice laugh." Gilbert said, interrupting his fit of laughter and causing the Canadian to blush. The room fell silent as Gilbert looked away, already regretting saying something since it seemed to have ruined the mood.

Matthew took it slightly differently, though. Time seemed to stop for the other male as he comprehended that his crush had actually just said that. It both boosted his self confidence to hear that but also made him confused as to why the other would have said that. He spoke up after a moment, his hand unconsciously sliding a little closer to Gilbert's. "Thank you, Gil. You know, yours is pretty awesome too, it's unique."

The pale skinned teen's cheeks flushed a soft pink after hearing that, and he tried to hide it with no results. Even so, he put on a genuine grin and replied back to him. "You know it, but it's nowhere nearly as awesome as yours Mattie! Kesesese~"

Gilbert thought that his laugh was weird, but Matthew didn't seem to mind it and seemed to like it. Upon hearing Gilbert laugh, the other male had smiled softly and chuckled quietly, seeming to brighten up.

None of their interactions went unnoticed by Lovino, but the Italian stayed silent so as not to interrupt their moment. He could already tell that the pair of them really liked each other, he would go so far as to call it love. It was only a matter of time before they got together, and it made him feel more lonely than before.

A part of him yearned for a relationship, to have someone that would love him for him even through his flaws, to have someone that would look at him the way that the two of them looked at each other. He already felt that way when he saw Feliciano and Ludwig, but seeing his two best friends that happy too? Of course he wanted them to be happy, but he couldn't help but feel longing when he saw them together.

But it was more than that too, seeing the pair of them in front of him made him wonder what would happen when they did get together. He didn't have any doubts that they would, some way or another, so it was just a matter of when. When they did get together, what would happen to him? They were the people he most hung out with, and if they were ever going out on dates he didn't want to third wheel.

He was broken from his thoughts when he heard Gilbert speak again, and felt their hands begin to preen his wings again.

"What even was that song?"

"It's from a musical, 'Bert. I'd advise not to get involved, or this guy will probably force you to sing it." Lovino told him quietly, his voice seeming a little more empty than before. It went unnoticed though, which he didn't know whether to be thankful or sad about.

"Musicals? I've never actually listened to a musical before." Gilbert admitted, turning to Matthew with another smile.

Said Canadian looked over to him at the same time and returned the smile, his tone clearly showing that he was in a good mood. "You've missed out, I'll have to introduce you one day."

"Sure! How about tomorrow afternoon at my place?"

"Really? I finally get to meet the new puppy?"

Gilbert nodded in response, his voice becoming excited as he talked about the new puppy that he'd gotten the previous week. Lovino hadn't met the pup either, but Gilbert had promised to let him meet him on the weekend.

"Ja, of course! You're welcome too, Vino." Gilbert turned to his other friend, tilting his head. The other seemed to have reverted to his mood from earlier in the day, which was reason to worry a little. The Prussian didn't know what had happened, and thought back on the conversation to try and figure out what they could have done wrong. All that came to his mind was blank thoughts, and Matthew shook his head when he turned to silently ask about it.

"I think I'm going to pass. I'm pretty sure I could recite every Hamilton lyric with the amount of times I've heard it." Lovino sighed once he'd finished speaking and looked down, pulling out his phone and scrolling through the web.

"It wasn't that many times, V," Matthew said softly, wondering if that was what it was all about. It didn't make sense, though, he knew that his friend loved hanging out and singing along like that every now and then. There was something up, and he had not a clue what it could be.

The Italian looked over his shoulder and shook his head, running a hand through his hair (away from that stray curl). "We've listened to it twenty seven times. And those are the times that I've counted, leaving out the others."

"At least it's not that crappy pop music that people think is good nowadays, eh?"

Lovino nodded slightly and rolled his eyes. "That stuff doesn't deserve to be called music, Matthew. Just like ballet isn't a real sport."

"Try telling that to eight year old Francis! Gott, it was hilarious, but he used to love ballet. It wasn't so much that he liked ballet, but the fact that he would wear a tutu instead of the normal costumes." Gilbert said with a chuckle, nudging Matthew who nodded. He was trying to cheer up the Italian but it didn't seem to have much of an effect as he'd hoped it would.

"Oh, I still have pictures! I'm saving them for his 21st, though, it'll be perfect to embarrass my cousin with. Anyway, I'm done now, Vino." Matthew had picked up on this as well, but even the mention of the Frenchman doing something ridiculous with photo evidence available didn't do anything.

"Ja, I'm finished too," the white winged male said, moving the pile of old, crumpled feathers into the bin that was near the bed.

Lovino stretched his wings, and stretched himself, turning around to face the other two males. This way it was a lot more obvious that something was wrong, but nobody brought it up just yet, they knew better.

"Thanks, you guys," he said, sealing the plastic bag from the bin and standing up. "I'm going to chuck these out before someone finds my feathers, you're welcome to grab a snack from the kitchen. Or watch a movie or something, I don't care. I won't be long."

With that, Lovino left the room, chucking the black, non see through garbage bag into an indoor trash can (which they only had for chucking out stuff like used dental floss and rubbish that wasn't recyclable or food related). He didn't know what he was feeling, or what he should do with the emotions he felt.

—

**(A/N)**

**The challenge for guessing what 'upper case B' and 'lower case a' means is still on. I put in some more clues in this chapter.**


	4. Chapter 4

Other than that incident, the rest of the week seemed to have passed without much issues. Lovino was still confused about Antonio, though, as the Spaniard continued to be nice to him no matter how he acted or how annoyed he was. Lovino would call them classmates, and refused to call them friends, but anyone who knew him knew that it was more of a compliment than an insult to be called that. Friday had come quickly, and once again Lovino was stuck in the English class.

A routine had started to form, he would get there and Antonio and Francis would greet him. Antonio would ask how his previous class had been, and then the lesson would start. Antonio would mainly talk to Francis and Laura, trying not to make Lovino annoyed at him, apart from occasionally talking to him if he seemed to be stuck or have trouble remembering one of the words.

That day it soon became obvious that things would be different, as Antonio continued talking to him past the first greeting. That only made Lovino more confused about his feelings. Sure, he never liked it when Antonio only really spoke to the other two—even if the Spaniard was trying to be nice by it and not annoy him—but he wasn't sure how to react to the attention being placed on him. He mainly stayed quiet, but occasionally would speak up, and it was kind of obvious that he wasn't used to it. It wasn't the same as with Matthew and Gilbert, he had known them for years and was comfortable with them. Antonio was making him feel all these new emotions that he couldn't label, and he needed time to adjust to it.

It was all just so overwhelming to him, and the fact that he couldn't stop noticing all these little details that he shouldn't have been bothered about didn't help. The way that Antonio's eyes always seemed so vibrant and curious about everything, how his expression never held any annoyance despite the way that he acted, and the way that his wings would shuffle in excitement whenever he was talking about something that he was excited about. All the little details, Lovino noticed, and he didn't have a clue as to why. This guy, who he'd known for not even two weeks, just came flying into his life and didn't seem to be leaving anytime soon.

After a while the teacher got the class under control again and Antonio fell quiet, though out of the corners of his eyes, Lovino would have sworn he saw the other look at him a few times. It made him blush ever so slightly, which luckily nobody seemed to pick up on since they were busy listening to the teacher talk to them about a group project. They were assigned groups, and almost as if it were fate, Lovino was in a group with a certain Spaniard. The problem was, it was groups of three, and Ivan of all people was the third member.

Lovino was naturally a more skittish person, he might claim to not be intimidated by people but usually was, particularly taller and bulkier people like Ludwig, Sadik and Ivan. As much as Matthew attempted to persuade him in the past that there was no need to be worried about him and that the Russian was just misunderstood, he found it hard to believe. As Francis and Laura moved away to a different desk with their respective group members, Ivan was coming closer and it forced Lovino to rely on the hope that Matthew was right.

The Russian man spoke up first, a friendly smile on his face. "This will be a good group, da? Matvey tells me that you two work hard and get good marks in English."

"I wouldn't say that," Antonio told him sheepishly, returning the friendly smile to Ivan. He'd heard of the rumours of course, but he didn't like to assume what people were like and wanted to get to know them personally. "Words just seem to interest me, they hold a special meaning and can convey so many things in such a variety of ways. I just want to enjoy that and so it's fun to put the effort in."

"I'm really not that good at all, but I'll put effort in and shit like that. Just a warning, if you approach me and I tell you to fuck off it's not a personal thing." Lovino told him, sighing and running a hand through his hair.

Ivan chuckled at the last part and nodded. "Well, it does not matter if you are smart or not. If you do your part and out effort in then we will have no issues. I dislike it when group members make me do all the work."

"Don't doubt yourself, Lovi! You're really smart when you don't get caught up with remembering what words to use and stuff like that," he told him with a smile, placing his hand on the Italian's shoulder before turning to Ivan. "And of course, we can divide the work up. I'll make sure that Lovi and I get it done on time."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, bastard." Lovino gently took his hand and moved it off his shoulder, his touch lingering for a moment longer than it needed to before he dropped it. He blushed and looked down, which seemed to amuse Ivan, who simply went on to talk about the project.

"Now, let us get started. I believe that the theme of betrayal is the one our group was assigned to present on, da? In the novel, a person that the main character was friends with leaves him to join up with people that were his rivals. Why is this important?" Ivan asked, already knowing a reason why it was important. He wanted to hear the opinion of the other two people in the group first.

Lovino thought for a moment, hesitantly speaking up. "It's the driving force behind the protagonist's decision to run away. The emotion that he feels affect his rationality and cause him to believe that it would be best for him to leave."

"And that meant that later on he was hesitant to accept his friend when he comes to bring him home, because he feels like he is of lesser importance and there is no point in returning."

"Da, that is correct," Ivan told them, clapping softly and beaming. "This will certainly be a good group. Oh, and Lovino, I will be with Matvey in the library at lunch to work on the history assessment. I know Gilbert gets jealous easily, so do tell him that I have my eyes set on someone else and that I am only friends."

Lovino looked a bit curious at his words about already liking someone and nodded, not asking anything because he didn't want to pry. "Sure, I guess. I might see you there, I might not. Anyway, shall we get back to work? I want to get this done quickly."

"Da, that we can do."

—

The rest of the English lesson went without a hitch, and after another lesson it was lunchtime. It turned out that Ivan was actually quite nice, he was polite and tried his best to be kind even though he was quite intimidating at first glance. He was quite patient and didn't seem to have a problem with Lovino, though he would have sworn he saw the Russian wink at him and Antonio once or twice.

By the time it got to lunch, he soon realised that he wouldn't be able to sit with Matthew to eat and ended up sitting with Gilbert, Francis, and of course Antonio. The albino was annoyed about the whole Ivan and Matthew spending time together at lunch, not saying much but 'Capital A and Capital B' to Lovino as the Italian came over and began to eat.

"Just because they're spending time together doesn't mean they have romantic feelings for each other, Gil," Francis told him, trying to calm him down a bit. "Try not to be so bitter and angry about it, oui?"

"But that what people do when they like each other, spend time with each other," Gil complained, his wings shuffling a bit as he looked down. "Birdie will never love me at this rate."

"I'm not good with love advice, but wouldn't it just be easier if you tell him?" Toni asked, tilting his head a bit. That seemed like the most obvious course of action to him, especially when Gilbert and Matthew both so obviously liked each other.

"Ohonhon~ like you can talk, Toni, what with that crush of yours." Francis teased, causing Antonio to blush a soft red and look down, laughing sheepishly.

Lovino froze at hearing those words, stiffening and taking a small bite of his sandwich. He didn't know why he should care that Antonio had a crush, it was normal and most people did. They weren't even close friends, yet he was worried about the other having a crush. He stayed silent, continuing to listen to the conversation whilst brushing off the feelings welling up inside of him.

"Well, you know, it's complicated. I doubt that this person would like me, they'd probably be creeped out if I told them and then it would be worse," the Spaniard explained, his own wings shifting around a bit as he spoke.

Francis raised a brow and whispered something to him, receiving a whisper in return. Gilbert could hear what they were saying too, and seemed to nod in understanding, but Lovino didn't know any of what they were talking about. He just sighed and rolled his eyes, not taking note of the gender neutral pronouns used which indicated that Antonio's crush could be of either gender.

Lovino sighed, changing his mind about sticking around to listen and getting up. He had too many emotions running through him right now, confusion, hurt, hope and curiosity to name a few. "Well, if you're going to be having girl talk, I'm outta here. Ciao."

"Wait, Lovi, please stay!" Antonio grabbed his hand, giving him a warm and slightly pleading smile. "It's okay for you to stay, I'd like it if you did because... because you haven't said if you have a crush or not!" The Spaniard hadn't thought of any good reasons to make hm stay and that was the first excuse he could come up with. The result was a blushing Lovino, who ripped his hand away and sat back down again.

"Don't touch me, tomato bastard. That's a crappy reason to stay, and the answer is simple. I don't like anyone." He rolled his eyes and grumbled a bit as he ate his sandwich, though his voice had sounded a bit uncertain when he said he didn't like anyone. He sighed, looking to Gilbert as he spoke. "And for the record, I'm staying because I have to tell Gil something. Ivan said that you get jealous too easily, and that he has eyes for someone else so he's not going to steal Matthew away."

Gilbert stiffened a bit and blushed a shade of red before nodding. "Danke for telling me, though am I really that obvious?"

"Oui, and I can't believe I didn't notice sooner. It's rather cute though, I must admit." It wasn't Francis that spoke, but Matthew himself, with Ivan following beside him.

Gilbert flushed a deeper shade of red and he looked up at the Canadian, squeaking a bit and barely managing to meet his gaze. "Ah, Matthew, nice weather we're having-"

His voice was cut off when a pair of warm lips pressed against his own, along with two hands cupping his cheeks, and he closed his eyes, melting into the kiss. Gilbert knew exactly who it was, and was more than happy to kiss back despite a few gasps and a loud round of applause, and one or two glares from onlookers. Soon Matthew pulled away, a large blush on his cheeks as he took a shaky breath and began to speak. "I... je t'aime, Gilbert. I know it's not the most romantic place to ask you out, but I couldn't wait when Ivan told me that you liked me too."

Gilbert stood up from his seat, wrapping his arms around the other and pulling him into a hug. "It may not have been how I imagined getting together with you, but ich liebe dich auch, Birdie. I have for a while now..." The albino trailed off, leaning forward and giving him another gentle kiss.

Lovino looked down at the scene, wanting to give them some sort of privacy in their intimate moment, like many others had done. He was happy for them, there was no doubt about that fact, they were his two best friends and he knew they would be happy together. That couldn't change the fact that it made his heart ache in loneliness as he was once again reminded by the world that he was alone, nor did it change the difficulty that arose in the weeks ahead. He knew it was coming, of course it would, when up on the wall there was a sign for winter prom.

Prom meant dates, asking people out, choosing a prom queen and king. That was a problem for Lovino, when in that moment it dawned on him that the only person he wouldn't mind going with wouldn't like him. He'd get ridiculed for asking them out, and even if they did together they would never get to be prom queen and king together.

That was the moment, in the crowded cafeteria on what should have been a regular Friday, that Lovino realised that he'd developed a crush on the Spanish man sitting across from him.

**x-x-x**

**(A/N)**

**Thanks to all who have left reviews! Alalaszja and gingeralgae have gotten closer, but nobody has guessed what the letters mean. It has something to do with emotions and feelings. There are more hints in this chapter. I will also mention that there are six letters total, B, A, D, b, a, d. **


	5. Chapter 5

The timing of that afternoon was all very unfortunate, particularly when the prom was on Friday in three weeks. Apparently the student council was making it earlier that year, and he had no doubt the girls complaining about the cold weather was the cause. It was winter prom, for fucks sake, it was meant to be cold, but apparently people just didn't understand that.

But the fact that it was so soon meant that there wasn't much time for the Italian to ask his newfound crush out. Lovino wasn't the type to ask people out to things, and usually he had time to gain confidence to do that sort of thing, like when he asked that girl Sophia to last year's winter prom. She was nice enough, and his brother had insisted he needed a date last year, otherwise he would have gone alone. He actually wouldn't have gone at all if not for his brother... and both Gilbert and Matthew pestering him.

He would have continued to ponder this, when of course the very man he was thinking about tapped his shoulder. "Are you okay, Lovi? You seemed to look a bit down," Antonio explained, a gentle smile on his face. Lovino blushed and nodded in response, looking up at the Spaniard for a moment before returning his gaze back down.

"I'm fine, Antonio, I promise. I, uh, I gotta go, for real this time. I've got something important that I forgot about and it has to be done now. So uh, see you."

With that Lovino got up and walked off, despite the confused looks from Gilbert, Matthew and Francis. The new couple pulled away and sat down again, seeing no point in chasing him when he needed time to think things through. They could tell, Gilbert and Matthew could always tell when something was up.

Antonio had a confused look of his own, and was worried that Lovino might have been sick since he had looked all spacey and red, but didn't want the Italian to hate him when Lovino was just starting to tolerate him.

Of course, Francis being Francis, reverted back to the old topic of Antonio's crush, interrupting Antonio's thoughts of Lovino. "You said you had a crush on Laura, the Belgium girl at our table group in English, oui?"

This fact confused Gilbert very much, because he was almost certain Antonio had a crush on Lovino.

—

Lovino made his way out of the cafeteria, and ended up walking outside to the oak tree he usually sat at. There was someone else there that day, a British male who he knew was friends with Matthew. He wasn't bothered to argue or anything, like he usually would have done if someone was sitting in his spot, and simply sat down beside him silently. He wanted to think about all the things that he'd just realised, since it was a lot to take in and he was having trouble processing it. Sure, he was bisexual and had known for a while, but that wasn't the problem. That silence continued for a few minutes, before the blond spoke up, sounding genuinely concerned.

"Hello, Lovino. Is everything alright?" The voice was gentle and surprisingly kind from the Brit who would usually want to be left alone as well. Arthur hadn't seen him look so quiet or so deep in thought for a long time and wanted to see if there was anything he could help with. While he wasn't close friends with Lovino, he was a good listener and usually had decent advice to give, both of which the Italian seemed to need at that point.

Lovino looked almost as if he wasn't going to speak, but then sighed and shook his head. "Have you ever realised something big, something that you don't know what to do about, and be in the worse place possible to realise it?"

"Well, yes, I realised I was gay in the middle of sixth grade French class."

"That's, um, wow. I was not expecting that, but that's cool I guess. Well, I just realised something important in the middle of the cafeteria while Gilbert and Matthew kissed—they're a thing now by the way—and now I don't know what to do. I, I kinda just need someone else to talk to. My friends are great, but I don't want them to try and do something about the situation before I'm ready."

Arthur raised a bushy eyebrow at the mention of Gilbert and Matthew but stayed mostly silent until Lovino finished speaking. "I'm not going to make you tell me either way, but if this is love advice you need I'm not the best person to ask. If this is about a crush on someone, I will tell you this much. You're never going to get anywhere by doing nothing. Talk to them, show them who you really are, and once you're ready you ask them out, just don't wait too long or else someone else might snatch them up. If they reject you, then they're a waste of your time. If they return your feelings, then try to go on a date with them and build your relationship."

"I guess you're right, but I don't know what his sexuality is. I know he's not homophobic, but I highly doubt he's attracted to guys." Lovino let out a heavy sigh, shaking his head.

"You never know unless you ask, and like I said before, if he doesn't like you he's not worth your time. Don't waste your life pining over someone, it only makes it harder."

"You sound as if you know from experience?"

"Like I said, sixth grade French class."

"Oh."

The bell rung, interrupting the next thing Lovino was going to say. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Hey, uh, Arthur? You're not so bad." That's all he said before he left, unwilling to admit that he'd actually been thankful for his conversation with the Brit.

Arthur left soon after, a small, knowing smile on his lips. "I do hope things go well with Antonio," he whispered, knowing nobody would hear him since he was still at the tree. He'd seen the way that Lovino looked, and it was his best guess that the Spaniard was the one he liked.

—

His next class was chemistry, and though it was okay, he really didn't want to go there at that moment. Two out of three members of the BTT were there, and he really wasn't in the mood to speak to anyone.

"Yo, Vino, where'd you run off to?" Gilbert asked, sitting down on one side of Lovino as Francis took the other. The teacher, very 'strategically' had sat Lovino between the two, which had only made life harder for the Italian on days where he did not want to be social.

"It doesn't matter, Gilbert. I just didn't want to be around you and all your snogging. You and Mattie are awesome and all, but I'm not particularly interested in seeing you too kiss." He rolled his eyes, opening his book and starting the work that had been written on the board since they had a sub.

"That's definitely why you left," the 'Prussian' retorted, sighing and gently taking the pen from Lovino's hands. "You've been acting weird for a while now, V, are you sure you're okay? Matthew and I are getting worried, you're not telling us what's going on and we want to help."

"I'm not telling you because it doesn't matter and you'd think it was stupid. And you," he said as he turned to Francis, "would have a field day if you learnt what was going on."

"Vino, we wouldn't be mean, even Francis wouldn't be like that since it's obviously important, you know you can trust us with everything," Gilbert pleaded softly, giving him a hopeful smile. "If it's about Antonio I can talk and ask him to stop whatever he's doing."

"The bastard hasn't done anything. It's just me, I'm lower case b and upper case B. Just, leave me alone for today, _please._" The vulnerability in his voice surprised both of the men beside him. Francis nodded and turned to his work, but Gilbert was more reluctant,

"Please, just tell us if there is something wrong, not now but later. Whatever I've done to break your trust, I'm sorry," Gilbert whispered, slowly giving him back his pen and turning to do his own work. That was what made the guilt start to sink in for Lovino, and he knew that he had messed up again. Gilbert was only trying to support him, yet he couldn't keep his emotions in check to be able to allow him to help. He hadn't thought that anyone could help him when he couldn't clearly label the problem, and now he'd hurt people.

But true to his word, both Gilbert and Francis had left him alone for the rest of the day, and apparently they told Matthew too because the Canadian made no attempt to comfort him when they met up for German class at the end of the day. The silence was horrible, it engulfed everything he seemed to think about in a shroud of utter loneliness. "I'm lower case bad and there's no one here to help because I stuffed up," he whispered as he walked out of the school building, walking slowly along the path to make the trek home.

It was a cooler day so wearing the oversized sweater to hide his wings wasn't so bad, but he still felt horrible. He just wanted to go home, to hide away and pretend his troubles didn't exist. 'But what good would that do?' the quiet voice of reason in his head asked. "Absolutely nothing," he murmured to himself, but still resigned himself to doing that anyway. Well, that was what he would have done if a certain Spaniard hadn't come over to 'cheer him up, because that's what good friends do'.

"Just leave me the fuck alone," he growled at Antonio, continuing on his walk towards his house.

"I'm afraid I cannot do that, Lovi, my friend is upset and I gotta make him happy again. Usually you're more of a playful angry, but today you're sad angry and I don't know what happened to make you upset." Antonio's voice was genuine and kind, and Lovino wished that his kindness wasn't one of the reasons that he liked Antonio. It would be a whole bunch easier if this damn crush wasn't getting in the way and messing with his emotions. Lovino didn't reply straight away to what the other said, not wanting to mess up again. As much as he hated (though secretly loved) to admit it, Antonio was miraculously still his friend, and he didn't want to ruin that because of his bad attitude.

The Spaniard spoke once again, his beautiful, emerald green wings folded down as not to intimidate the other. "You don't have to tell me what it is, just let me get you some ice cream or something. Ice cream makes people happy, right?"

Lovino pondered the decision for a moment, and eventually sighed, slowly nodding and turning before gesturing for Antonio to follow. He didn't know why he agreed to it, and he probably shouldn't have, but he couldn't bring himself to deny Antonio. He was just so sweet and thoughtful, and after messing up with Matthew and Gilbert he didn't want it mess up again.

"We aren't getting ice cream though, we're getting gelato, and you're paying," Lovino told him, receiving a nod in reply.

"So, what do you think about the project for English? It's pretty lucky to be in the same group as each other, huh?" Antonio asked, tilting his head.

"Yeah, I guess the group is okay. But I don't want to talk about the damn project right now, if you didn't notice I'm kind of not in the mood."

"Right, sorry Lovi."

—

**(A/N)**

**Just to let you guys know since it might help, for the BAD system each letter refers to a word that starts with that letter. If the letters were 's', 'o' and 'r' for example, the lower cases could be shameful, outcasted and regretful. The capitals could be Satanic, Outraged and Revengeful.**


	6. Chapter 6

Lovino led Antonio in the direction of his favourite gelato shop, one run by an older Italian couple. None of his friends knew about it, since he never brought anyone there. None of his friends apart from Antonio. He didn't know what exactly possessed him to agree to going to get gelato with the Spaniard, but he had a few ideas.

One was that he didn't want to mess up with another friend when he'd already messed up with Gilbert and Matthew. Another reason? It was obvious, really, he couldn't say no to his crush offering to take him out. And finally, deep down he didn't actually want to be alone, not when he felt so down. Antonio had this cheerfulness that somehow made Lovino want to be happy as well, that made Lovino want to stay close.

—

Antonio didn't ask if the other wanted to fly there, he knew that Lovino hid his wings for whatever reason and didn't want to bother him about it. The way there was silent, a little tense, but not unpleasant. Though, the Spaniard noticed that the atmosphere shifted almost instantly as they entered the Gelato shop.

The room was cool from the air conditioner, but not so much so that it was freezing in the room. The walls were a soft orange, it was bright and gave the room a warm look, while not being overbearing to look at. The music that was playing was quiet piano music by an Italian composer that one of the owners loved. But that wasn't the thing that changed the atmosphere, it was Lovino himself.

The Italian teen seemed to be more relaxed and calm, almost seeming to brighten by entering the room. It wasn't with a smile that Antonio knew, because Lovino's face had the usual scowl adorning it. It was just the look in his olive green eyes, how some of the sadness seemed to fade, and the way his shoulders didn't look as tense. He didn't know why he was able to notice all of those things, he just could. He just found himself able to pay attention to Lovino, more so than he could when around other people.

"Do you want to order, or do you need some time to think?"

Antonio broke out of staring around the room (and at Lovino) when he heard the words. "Ah, we can order Lovi!" he replied cheerfully, going over to the window and quickly glancing over at the different flavours. "I'll have the pistachio and almond gelato in a cone please, one scoop. And Lovi here is getting... uh..."

"Coffee and hazelnut twist, in a cup, nonno." Lovino stepped forward, placing some cash on the table. "And I know I was going to make you pay, but I changed my mind. You have to bring the gelato over, though." With that, the Italian walked off, leaving a very confused Antonio behind.

"You must be important to him, he never brings friends along," a voice said, it was the man who took their order.

Antonio shrugged and gave him a polite smile. "Not really, sir, he seemed upset about something and I offered to take him for ice cream to cheer him up. He probably just needed to come here instead of any other place, it seemed to make him cheer up a bit just by walking in."

"No need for formalities, kid. Just call me nonno, everyone does. And you'd be right about him seeming upset, he usually is most days he comes here. My husband is the one who usually talks to him though, I don't know much." The man smiled and handed him the cup with Lovino's gelato and spoon, Antonio's cone and gelato, and some napkins. "Just keep an eye on him for me, he could do with a friend."

—

Lovino wasn't scowling anymore like he usually was, a blank look had replaced the scowl. He was back to thinking again, and he thought too much already that day, but he couldn't help it. He was drowning in his thoughts, and every time he tried to escape something always pulled him back into them.

The moment Antonio sat down and he was pulled away from his thoughts, he was tempted to scowl but didn't. He just sighed and silently took his gelato, slowly eating it and not looking up. He was like that for a while, so much so that Antonio was already finished his gelato by the time he was half way done his own sweet treat and had decided to talk. "How do you-"

"How do you what?"

"You have gelato on your face, bastard. It's distracting," Lovino said, sniggering a bit and grabbing a napkin before leaning forward. Their faces were only inches apart as he gently wiped the green gelato off Antonio's chin. His eyes were carefully observing and making sure his chin was clean, but also making note of the short stubble on his chin that Antonio hadn't managed to shave. He murmured something unrecognisable in Italian before he pulled away. He hadn't realised what he'd done until after he'd finished, and it caused him to blush and look away.

Antonio on the other hand laughed softly and said something about how he was 'too sweet', a small blush on his own cheeks. Lovino didn't deny his words for once, but that was because he was too busy eating his gelato and pretending that he didn't just do something like that.

"Anyway, you were about to say something?"

"No, uh, it doesn't matter anymore. I think it's fine now." Lovino offered him a half smile, which was really just the corners of his lips tugged up ever so slightly. It faded just as quickly as it came, but it was enough to get Antonio off his case. If Antonio had been able to cheer him up a bit from something so stupid, then he would see if he could help him any more without having to get close to revealing his crush.

Said Spaniard then spoke up just as he took another spoonful of gelato, which was frustrating since he had to finish it before he could speak. "Then you won't mind me telling you stories from my time in Spain?"

"I guess. I don't have anything better to say, so I'll tolerate listening to your dumb stories."

Antonio beamed and nodded, talking on about random stories from his childhood. Lovino was actually listening to what he was saying, and while he could deny that he paid attention all he wanted it wouldn't change the fact that Antonio knew that he listened. It actually brought a few half smiles out again, and Lovino almost laughed at one of the stories (because of younger Antonio's stupidity and not because he imagined younger Antonio doing something adorable, of course).

Lovino continued to let him talk even after finished his own gelato, and things were going well. Antonio soon began to talk about something in particular that happened a few years ago. "So, I was in Spain still, visiting my grandparents after they'd just moved house. I went into town with my grandparents, and as I was walking around I saw someone with the most beautiful pair of wings I have ever seen to this day. I don't know if they were a boy or a girl, I didn't get a close look at them because I was too captivated by their wings. The blues and pinks and purples were just so vibrant and bright, I'd never seen anything like it before."

"What's your opinion on same sex relationships?" Lovino hadn't meant to ask the question, but he couldn't help it. The wings that Antonio was talking about seemed too much like his own and he wanted to change the topic. Of course, he wanted to change it quickly, and he'd been thinking about asking that question and he just blurted it out.

Antonio froze at the sudden question, having not being expecting it to come out of nowhere like that. "I mean, I'm cool with other people having those relationships, it doesn't bother me and if they're happy I don't see a problem. As for having them myself, well, I don't think I'd date a guy. I've never been attracted to one and I don't think my father would approve of me dating a guy even if I did like them."

In reality, Antonio was bi questioning, but didn't want to come out when he wasn't sure in case his father found out. Even if he came to the conclusion that he was straight, his father really wasn't approving and he didn't want to cause more trouble than he needed to. He wasn't eighteen yet, he couldn't leave home if he needed to.

Lovino kept his face blank to hide the pang of hurt that came with knowing that he wouldn't have a chance with Antonio, and then nodded. "I get that, I'm straight as well. Guys are bastards. But I'm in total support of them, I've been waiting for Mattie and Gil to get together for like, a year." The part about him being straight was a lie, but he lost the confidence in coming out. He knew it wasn't an outright rejection by Antonio since he hadn't confessed, and that it was probably better he knew now that his crush was straight than thinking he had a chance and getting rejected later, but it still hurt.

Lovino sighed and picked up his phone to check the time, and stood up. "I have to get home, thanks for coming I guess. See ya 'round, bastard."

And home Lovino went, to go and hide himself in his room like he'd planned to do before Antonio had come and made his day. Before Lovino had managed to demolish the joy Antonio had bought with a stupid question that he didn't need to ask.

"I'm back to feeling bad." And this time there was nobody there to help him.

—

**(A/N)**

**Someone has gotten the first letter of **_bad BAD _**correct. Lowercase d has been guessed - the word is depressed. **

_**b**_ _**a**_ _**d**__epressed_ _**B**_ _**A**_ _**D**_


	7. Chapter 7

Lovino barely got a wink of sleep that night. He spent a few hours tossing and turning before eventually giving up hope of getting a decent sleep. He instead decided to work on the group project for a while, since it woke save him from having to do some of the work during the rest of the weekend. It wasn't much, just dot point planning of things they could say in the speech and the beginnings of a PowerPoint. Still, the work made an extra two hours go by quickly, but that was nothing really. It was only three thirty, which left plenty of time before anyone expected him to be awake since he slept in until about ten on the weekends.

The Italian made up his mind of what he was going to do next. He had nothing better to do, and it had been so long since he'd gone flying...

As quietly as he could so as not to wake up his brother, he changed into a short sleeved white shirt with slits in the back for his wings, and black shorts. Carefully, he opened his window, allowing the warm fall air to flood the room. It wasn't too hot nor too cold, just the perfect temperature to go flying in. He was so used to wearing sweaters that the feeling of a slight breeze on his bare skin was strange, but comforting.

He hummed softly, stretching his wings and contemplating where it was he would fly to. Once his decision was made, he took a deep breath before jumping out of his window and beginning to glide through the air, only occasionally flapping his wings to keep himself airborne. It was peaceful at that time of night, the full moon illuminating his surroundings in a silvery glow. The breeze felt a little stronger when he was flying, but by no means was he cold or having trouble flying.

It was exhilarating, it just felt so natural to be flying, it was a feeling he hadn't realised that he'd missed. He first flew over some houses in the neighbourhood, flying high enough that he wouldn't hit anyone's roof, but low enough that he could land easily if he needed to. After doing this for a while, he turned in the direction of the forest beside their town. This was where was planning to fly around, it was more serene had a fresh scent. It was much more preferable than flying over the town, anyway. He flew for about half an hour, before landing in a clearing beside a stream and lying on the grass. He stared up at the sky, tears beginning to trail down his face as he gently began to laugh.

"How is it that something that's given me so much hardship can bring me so much joy," he whispered, his voice barely audible. He didn't know why he spoke aloud if nobody was there, but he couldn't help but voice his thoughts.

His wings had caused him so much pain, and yet, whenever he went flying he couldn't help but be so happy. At the same time, the sadness that he'd been wallowing in for most of the previous day had yet to go away.

He stayed for twenty minutes before standing up and beginning to fly back. He'd started feeling the effects of a lack of sleep more now that the adrenaline of flying had worn off, but he knew he needed to get back in time. There were a few cars on the road by the time he got back to where the town was, cars of people heading off to their early morning jobs, but that didn't matter too much since they wouldn't be able to get a good look at him anyways.

He flew back quicker than on the way there, and was back in twenty five minutes, slipping in his window and closing it, his eyes glancing to his alarm clock that read 4:45am. He sighed and flopped back on his bed, closing his eyes.

—

_Knock. Knock._

"Lovi! Wake up, you have to get ready for school. If you don't get ready you'll be late," Feliciano called out, not trying to open the door unless Lovino said he could since he knew his brother hated it when he did so.

The older Italian groaned and reluctantly slipped out of bed. "Yeah, I'm up, go have fun with the potato bastard," he told him. Over the weekend he had basically shut himself into his bedroom and not left apart from going and getting something to eat. He ignored all of the calls and texts that he got, too.

He knew it was stupid to be upset about something so small and stupid, but he couldn't help it. He'd never felt this way before, and it was all so confusing, especially when he ended up messing up a lot.

Lovino sighed and got out of bed, his freshly preened wings slightly ruffled. He'd gone on a couple more early morning flights, and he actually liked not having to hide his wings all the time. But out in the open, anything could happen, there were many people that weren't accepting and the majority of people knew what the bisexual flag looked like nowadays. He sighed and folded up his wings, putting on his oversized sweater over the top before finishing getting dressed and heading downstairs.

It wasn't long before he was ready for school and left the house, and thankfully it was a colder day. Fall was strange in that one day it could be hot and the next freezing cold. The temperature changes were frustrating, but the cold was better than hot weather by far.

He walked alone that day, he guessed that Matthew and Gilbert had flown together to school, since he hadn't responded to any of their texts and calls, some of which were asking if he wanted to join them. He just wanted to be alone, even if wallowing in his room did him no good.

Surprisingly, it was a different group of people than usual that talked to him that day, Ivan and Arthur. Initially he just nodded in response to their waving, but when he saw they were coming over he sighed and said a quiet 'ciao'. They responded as well, and soon began a friendly conversation with him, with Lovino giving half-assed responses. Still, it wasn't horrible conversation, and he found that the two were actually quite nice. He'd gotten that impression from talking to them the previous week, but the fact that they even bothered to say hello made him feel just a little bit happy.

When the bell went he waved to them and got his stuff out of his locker, saying he'd see them in English class. He then headed to his dreaded first period, in which he knew he would be sitting beside Gilbert. He arrived on time, heading to his seat, and noticed that Gilbert was not sitting there like he usually was. The albino was sitting in the back corner with a kid with spiky blonde hair, and Matthew's brother Alfred.

There had been rumours that they would get new students, a group all from the Nordics, and this kid must be one of them. The three of them were laughing boisterously, clearly having fun, and Lovino couldn't help but feel his heart clench seeing that. When was the last time he'd ever made Gilbert laugh like that? And he called himself Gilbert's best friend? _Hah. As if. _He sighed and began writing down the notes the teacher had put on the board, missing the longing, sad looks that Gilbert was sending his way.

The class seemed to drag on forever, and when finally it was over something worse was yet to come. English. The dreaded table with Francis, Antonio and Laura. Sure, the girl from Belgium was nice, but he saw the way she looked at Antonio. He knew that she liked her, and now that he knew Antonio was straight he wouldn't be surprised if they started going out. They were _perfect_ for each other.

His personality was bright and bubbly, so was hers. They were both kind, both had an interest in music, and always seemed to have endless topics of conversation. If ever one of them was having a bad day, the other seemed to know almost instantly, and knew just what to do. It had barely been a month since school started and the chemistry between them was already clear. And what was worse, it made him hurt more to know that, to know that Antonio would _never_ want him.

He guessed he deserved the hurt though, in a way.

And so that was why he sat down at his normal table, instead of asking to move to the table that Arthur, Ivan and Matthew were sitting at. He ignored Francis, like usual. He said a polite 'hi' to Laura, because she was genuinely nice and he couldn't help but be kinder to her. And to Antonio, he only said a quiet 'bastard' as a greeting.

Even though everything was anything but normal, he put up the act that it was. He did everything like he usually did, and though he thought he was fooling them he wasn't. Both Antonio and Francis had heard from Gilbert that something had happened to make him upset, and they could see the subtle signs that Lovino was hiding things. He seemed too happy, his voice was just a bit too quiet, his chuckle a bit too bitter. Even Matthew, from across the room, could see that something was still wrong with his friend. And when it was time to split up into groups to work on their project, and Lovino was showing them his ideas, it was clear that he was more tired than they'd initially thought.

It was particularly worrying when these signs continued on not just for that day, but for most of the week. He would avoid Gilbert and Matthew, pretend like everything was fine with Antonio and Francis, and would only truly speak to Ivan and Arthur, mostly since Arthur had already figured out what was going on. He seemed to get increasingly more tired each day, and by Thursday things had gone on long enough.

Gilbert and Matthew were done with waiting for Lovino to tell them what was wrong.

—

**(A/N)**

**So this chapter was short and kinda crappy and I'm not happy with it but I haven't posted in a while so I hope you enjoy it**


	8. Chapter 8

Gilbert and Matthew were sitting at their normal table at lunchtime, and it was much emptier than usual without Lovino. Not having the Italian boy around made a big difference for both of them, he was their best friend after all. He just seemed to be avoiding them all the time, and whenever they got close he would either ignore them or slip off into the crowd.

Matthew sighed as he looked out the window at the tree where Lovino was currently sitting with Arthur. "I wonder what we did wrong," he whispered, tucking one of his blond locks behind his ear, his wings shifting uncomfortably.

Gilbert sighed and wrapped his arm around Matthew, kissing his head. "I wonder that too. I know he'd been trying to get us together for ages, so it's not like he's upset that we're together, right?" He asked softly, shaking his head a bit. "Any luck with Arthur or Ivan?"

"No, they still won't tell me anything, just that we should ask him ourselves." Matthew sighed once more, leaning his head on Gilbert's chest and closing his eyes. "What are we going to do, Gil? I know that he needs us, I can just tell, and I know you can too. And the way he looks so... so..."

"Bad? Tired? The way he's much quieter? I can't stand it either, love. And that's why we're going to get him to talk. It's been much longer than it should have already, I can't let him down any more. Lovino is like my brother, and I need my brother back."

—

Gilbert and Matthew snuck out of the school building at the end of lunch, heading in the direction of the tree where Lovino was getting up and starting to walk back inside for classes. Arthur noticed them first and only nodded, waving to Lovino and going on ahead. It was when the Italian looked up to wave too that he saw his two best friends coming up towards him, and he instantly looked down to avoid their gaze. He started to walk away, but Matthew gently grasped his hand and pulled him into a hug.

"Please, Lovino, don't shut us out," he said softly, a look of desperation in his eyes. Gilbert joined the hug not long after, wrapping his wings around both of them.

Lovino struggled against it initially but soon gave in, leaning into their embrace and starting to shake a bit. "Fly. I need to fly, then we talk. I-I know a place, a place where nobody else knows. It's safe." His voice was uncharacteristically quiet and upset, which wasn't exactly surprising, but it was unsettling to hear.

"Okay, Vino," Matthew said gently, pulling away from the hug but continuing to hold his hand. "Gilbert will carry you to a place you can spread your wings, and then we can fly. Where do you want to go?"

"The forest."

—

It wasn't long at all before the three of them had arrived at the outskirts of the forest. Most people were at work by then and so they managed to avoid running into other people as they flew. Rush hour was particularly bad, since while some people drove cars the majority of people flew to and from work since it was more convenient and saved money on fuel. There would be a period of time when most of the people in the town were flying up in the sky, and that was quite the sight.

As they landed, Lovino took off his sweater and wrapped it securely around his waist, stretching his wings as he did so. A few colourful feathers fell to the ground, and though they were ruffled from a half a day of being folded, it was obviously he had been taking care of them much better than he had been before. After a deep breath he leaned into the air, flapping his wings to keep himself airborne.

Matthew and Gilbert followed suit, and they began following him in the direction of the place they were going. They began to notice something about the way Lovino flew, though, it was rather odd and unusual. Back when Lovino would occasionally go on flights with them, his pattern was natural and graceful like it should be, but now it seemed clunky. It had been two years since their last proper flight together, and for most of that his wings had been folded, something that they all knew was uncomfortable for long periods of time.

Lovino didn't seem to notice though, and continued flying. The couple shared worried looks with each other, but stayed quiet mostly, not wanting to ruin the chance they had talking with him.

It took about twenty minutes to get there, and honestly, both Gilbert and Matthew would have been able to fly it in half that time with ease. It seemed that Lovino was flying much slower than a normal person, and while that could have been because of exhaustion, the other more likely explanation seemed to be in his flying pattern.

Lovino on the other hand had noticed their staring and had found himself becoming a little more uncomfortable. He quickly returned his wings to be folded up, since that seemed to ease the pain a bit after he was finished flying, since he had noticed his wings were starting to become sore after extended use, particularly if he was flapping more. It was more windy and the breeze was in the wrong direction to be able to help him fly, and the aching was worse than it had ever been. Still, they were finally there, the spot he'd found the other night that he'd been frequently going to every night.

Unbeknownst to him, other people already knew the place quite well since it wasn't actually that far of a fly away and was a nice place for a date. He just had never seen someone since he always came late at night.

He sat down, gesturing for Gilbert and Matthew to do the same. Everything was silent for a moment before he took a deep breath and started to talk. "I guess I owe you two an explanation, huh?" he said quietly, pausing for a moment more. The two others stayed silent, whilst being attentive and showing him that it was okay to spoke by the caring expressions on their face.

"Well, I guess you guys were right. That day, when you guys got together, I, uh, I realised that I like Antonio. I was scared, I didn't know what to do, especially since you guys were talking about his crush. So, I went and sat on my own, well that was the plan anyway. I met Arthur, and he's actually really nice. But with everyone else, I just seemed to keep messing up. I was flustered, I couldn't seem to do anything right. I just kept on pushing people away and I know that hurt the two of you.

But that afternoon, it was worse. Antonio noticed me being upset, and he offered to take me out for ice cream. I said that we had to go out for gelato instead, and then I would go." He let out a shaky sigh and laughed bitterly as he shook his head. "It was almost like a date, to be honest, he was so kind and always made sure I was happy. Tried his best not to annoy me and didn't try to force me to talk. He just told stories as we ate, and I may have wiped his chin with a napkin. It wasn't actually that bad until he started talking about this person with wings that practically matched the description of mine that he'd seen in Spain. He had no way to know it was me, no way at all, but I freaked out and asked the first thing I could think of, which was something I'd been debating on asking since I realised I liked him. I asked him what he thought about same sex relationships, and he said that he was fine with them, and that he was straight. I said the same thing, before I lied and said I needed to leave, and left. I'm such a fucking dumbass."

Gilbert didn't respond for a moment, but Matthew was quick to speak up. "Lovino, look at me. You're not a dumbass. You've never felt this way and I get that it's confusing and upsetting and you don't know how to act. But you didn't need to keep this to yourself, we would have been more than happy to try and help you understand your feelings. We're your best friends, your brothers, and maybe we aren't brothers by blood but I sure as hell don't think that matters." His voice was gentle, but firm enough so that Lovino understood he was being serious.

Said male looked down, fiddling with the hem of the shirt he had been wearing beneath the sweater. "I know. I fucked up, I shouldn't have pushed you away. But you all just seemed so happy without me and I thought it didn't matter whether I was there or not. Gil was hitting it off with Matthias, and you two were hanging out the rest of the time, and I wasn't going to take priority over your relationship. I'm not worth that."

Gilbert let out a low growl, gently tilting the Italian's face to look up at them both. "That's total and utter bullshit. We spend time with each other yes, but we want to spend time with you. You are our brother and our family, and we will not just put you aside because we're dating. Matthew's and my relationship doesn't change our friendship with you, and don't even start on the 'I'll just be a third wheel and get in the way' crap. We have fun and it's good to spend time with each other, but we both have more fun with you around as well. How can we have guy time if we don't have all of the guys here? And once again, don't you dare suggest someone can replace you. More people can join the guys if needed, but there's no way that I'd ever let someone be your replacement. And I speak for both Matthew and myself when I say that." He let go of Lovino's chin and pulled away, giving him a small, sad and longing smile. "Please, I, I need my bruder back, Lovino. We both need you."

Lovino was taken aback by both of their words. The fact that they still wanted him, without bearing any ill will at all after he'd been ignoring them and treating them like they were never friends to begin with, it shouldn't have surprised him but it did. He'd been caught up believing that they wouldn't want him that he forgot the kind and forgiving nature of his friends. He knew he made a mess, that he made stupid decisions, but that was all part of being human, and his friends knew that. And his friends were there for him and wanted him too.

He didn't answer verbally, but by wrapping his arms around Matthew, who promptly returned the hug and held him close. Similarly to before, Gilbert joined in and wrapped his wings around them, keeping Lovino in a feathery cocoon of warmth and safety, where he felt like he most truly belonged. It was the one place where he didn't have to act strong or pretend everything was okay. "Thank you. A-and if you don't mind, I'd like it if Ivan and Arthur can hang out with us too."

Matthew smiled and looked up at Gilbert, who nodded approvingly. "Of course."

—

**A/N - To the reviewer that said that the wing aspect of the story felt like a cheap gimmick to get people to read, I would like to say that I am writing a longer book and I am not even a quarter****of the way through it. Wings have not been as big as a focus as so far my writing has mainly been set up for later plot, which will involve the wingtalia aspect more. **


	9. Chapter 9

Their group hug continued for a little longer until Lovino had calmed down and had pulled away. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, looking away for a moment. "How about we go back somewhere else? I feel like we could all do with a place more comfortable than this," he suggested, receiving a nod in return from both the other males. He smiled a bit, and then stood up, once again beginning his flight. He ignored the pain in his wings, it particularly hurt in the joints, but he didn't think it was a problem and just labelled it as that he hadn't flown in a while, like he had every other time he'd gone flying earlier that week. He seemed to be struggling particularly by the time they got to the outskirts of the forest, but conveniently he needed to land to cover up his wings before it became too bad. He let out a sigh of relief as they landed and folded his wings up as he put his sweater on. "Let's go," he told them softly.

—

They had soon made it back to Lovino's house, since his grandfather was out and that day. His sweater was off, but his wings were still folded up, it was a habit he'd gotten into a lot recently. The three were sitting on the couch, glasses of pepsi in hand as it was the only drink other than water and wine that they had in the house.

"We still need to talk about the whole Antonio situation," he told them, shaking his head a bit. He didn't particularly like talking about it, but he knew he needed to and that his friends wanted to help him.

"Especially since prom is coming up. You know, not all hope is lost, Lovino. I know he said he was straight, but you ever think he may have just been scared to come out to you? He's told both Francis and I that he's bi-questioning," Gilbert said with a shrug. "He said he's never really had anyone he really likes, but he said there's two people that he thinks he has a crush on. I have reason to believe that one of them might be you."

"But the other one, Laura..." the Italian trailed off, sighing once again, "She's genuinely a nice person, her and Antonio would be so well together. I don't want to be the reason neither of them get their happiness."

Matthew placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder and smiled softly. "Look, they aren't together yet. You wouldn't be doing anything wrong to either of them by asking him out first. It's wrong to try and split someone up from a relationship, yes, but you wouldn't be doing that."

"I guess you're right... but what if he doesn't actually like me and he rejects me and then it becomes hard? We are in that English project together and it would be awkward with him knowing I like him."

"More awkward than this previous week," Gilbert asked, causing Lovino to flinch and look down. "Right, touchy subject, sorry. But honestly, I wouldn't lie to you. At this point though, he'd go with either one of you if you asked, since he doesn't know who he likes best. Just go for it, you'll never get anywhere if you don't do anything. Just keep in mind that you don't have forever to ask, if you're not careful you may lose your chance."

"Yeah, I know. I just need some time, guys. Just be warned, if I don't get to go with him I'm not going. I don't really want to go and I never had, but if I get to make him happy... He's told me how much he loves to dance before," he said softly, blushing slightly.

"Lovi has a crush~ Lovi has a crush~" Matthew said teasingly, giggling afterwards. The Italian blushed darker and avoided his gaze, but not for too long. "Honestly, you two would be really sweet together. He notices you, Vino, I can tell. He's picked up on your moods already. You said it yourself, he went up to you because he could tell you were upset and tried to cheer you up. He was trying to cheer you up and was able to do it."

"Mattie's right, you and Antonio would be great together. I know it seems to you like he's absolutely perfect with Laura, but you shouldn't doubt yourself. You two have good chemistry," Gilbert assured him with a smile. "And what you were doing at the gelato place, it was practically a date. It didn't sound much like a hangout between friends. It's quite easy to picture you two together as a couple."

"That's enough," Lovino mumbled, he had gotten the point already. He actually liked the idea of being together with him, and he had started to feel hope. Maybe he had a chance after all. "I'll, uh, I think I'll ask him."

Matthew and Gilbert grinned, the former giving him a short hug. "Don't worry, we'll help you plan it. There's two weeks till prom, and I have an awesome plan. So how about on Friday next week..."

—

Lovino sighed happily, leaning back on the bed. They'd finished discussing plans the night before, and even though he would have to wait until next Friday to pull them off, he actually felt confident that he had a chance. It was Friday morning, and for once he actually got out of bed happier, like he had a feeling that the day ahead would go well. He just knew that it would, things weren't so bad anymore. He wasn't so bad anymore.


	10. Chapter 10

Lovino was quick to make breakfast and pack his lunch that morning so he could get an early start to walking to school. Both Matthew and Gilbert walked with him, and the three were making pleasant conversation as they usually did when they were together. Lovino was standing in the middle of them, an unusual smile gracing his lips as he walked into the school building.

It was only a small smile, barely noticeable except to those who paid attention, but a smile nonetheless. He felt really happy, he was finally together with his friends again and he had a good feeling about the week ahead. The Italian was looking forward to Friday next week, as while he was somewhat scared about confessing he had hope that Antonio would feel the same way about him. He would hang out with him in the afternoon, and sometime during the time they were out he would confess, and the hanging out would turn into a date. He wasn't a very extravagant person and so he saw no reason to try and do some large romantic act since it was out of character and more likely to be taken as a joke than as an actual confession.

As he walked into school Antonio came over to them, giving the other two a large smile and moving to give Lovino a hug. Surprisingly to both of them, he returned the hug, only for a moment before pulling away. He felt too happy to be bitter over a hug, and god only knows how deprived of affection he was. It was tempting to continue the hug, but it was in the middle of a hallway and it would be weird if he did so. Not to mention he had a reputation and people would likely tease him about the hug if it continued. Lovino didn't fail to notice the joyful look in the Spaniard's eyes, though, and it was quick to become obvious that it meant a lot to the other that he'd returned the hug even for a short amount of time.

"Tonio," he stated, giving him a half smile and before glancing nervously at his two friends. "Uh, I can call you that right? Whatever, well... if you don't mind, do you, do you want to hang out this afternoon?" He blushed and fiddled with his sleeves, trying his best not to look too much like a schoolgirl. Gosh, he wasn't even asking him out tonight, that was next week, and already he was a mess. He didn't know how the hell he was going to make it through asking him out, and if not for the fact that Antonio could be extremely dense when it came to all things romance he would have been screwed because he was making it completely obvious that he liked him. He was just trying to be nicer to him, partly because he was having a good day and partly because he wanted to show that he didn't mind Antonio's presence (since he thought it would be strange if he suddenly asked him out with no signs showing that he liked him).

Antonio simply laughed, a joyous sound that made Lovino blush even more, because if his voice didn't seem perfect enough already, Antonio's laugh was so much better. "Of course, Lovi! To both things, of course, since friends hang out and give each other nicknames," he said with a smile, giving him another hug. "And you should smile more, you have a nice smile. Not that you don't look nice usually, but your smile is super cute! Um, I mean..."

Of course at this point Lovino was a blushing mess, and the other male was blushing too despite it being less obvious. "Dumbass," Lovino murmured, lightly hitting his arm to break him out of his rambling and once again pulling away after returning the hug. "I get your point, you don't need to keep on going. And I'm really not cute, but whatever you say."

Antonio looked over to him, laughing sheepishly and giving him a closed eye smile. He was somewhat surprised that he didn't get a more violent outburst or more profanities than just 'dumbass', but he didn't want to put too much effort in it since he might just be having a good day. He did think it was sweet that he was being more responsive to his affections though. It just felt so right to have his arms around the Italian and the other returning the hug. It made him feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside, and seeing him blush and hearing him say 'Tonio'? Well, let's just say he would probably be ranting to Francis and Gilbert about it later because it was so damn adorable.

"So about this afternoon, I have an idea! So how about we meet up after school at the front gates, and then we can go to the place I have in mind. If that's okay with you of course," Antonio said excitedly, giving him yet another bright smile.

"Sure, whatever. I'll see you in English so it's not like we have to sort out everything now."

"Great! I'll see you later then, I'm heading off to my locker!" Antonio chirped, his green wings shuffling excitedly behind him as he went to his locker. Lovino looked to Matthew and Gilbert with a small smile, before blushing profusely and going to his locker while the two followed behind him.

"That went well, see, he totally likes you! He only hugged you two out of both of us, and just look how happy he was. You did really good, I know you'll be perfectly ready by next week when it's time for you to ask him out," Gilbert said with a large grin, patting him on the shoulder lightly.

Lovino just blushed more and sighed softly, shaking his head. "But what if someone asks him out before me? What if this afternoon goes wrong? Wouldn't it be better to ask him out earlier?" He had so many worries floating around inside his head and he didn't want anything to go wrong. He knew how hard things could be especially if there was a misunderstanding or something, and he didn't want to lose the chance at happiness he had, since Antonio was the only person he really liked who seemed to truly like him back.

Matthew placed his hand on Lovino's other shoulder and gave him a gentle, encouraging smile. "Look, you just do what you think is right. He's a kind person, he'll understand if you take the time to explain to him. If tonight's the night you tell him, then so be it. It won't be any easier to wait a week than to tell him that you like him tonight, so if you feel you're ready then tell him. You'll know what to do, Lovino."

"I hope so."

x-X-x

Most of the day went along quite nicely, with Lovino enjoying working on the project with Ivan and Antonio. It was a relaxed and comfortable environment and all in all he was having quite a good day. Antonio even asked to hang out with him at lunch, which he didn't hesitate to agree to since he wanted to spend more time with him. Ivan had said Matthew was going to hang out with him at lunch and that it wouldn't be too big of an issue if they hung out. And so, the two spent time together on the school roof, just the two of them, as the rest of the group apart from Francis began talking. Gilbert and Matthew were worried about the state of Lovino's wings and knowing Ivan was studying medical science surrounding wings they wanted to talk to him about it.

"I don't quite see the problem here," Arthur said, concern and confusion present in his voice because of how worried they seemed. "Birds naturally fold up their wings, it shouldn't be an issue, right?"

Ivan shook his head and sighed, beginning to explain with a time of sadness in his voice. However short a time they knew each other, he would consider the Italian a friend. It made him sad to have to realise the consequences and explain them. "Normally, da, that would be the case. But because of the position he has them in to pin them down and prevent them from getting seen, his wings probably have adjusted wrongly to that position. It is like the man that held his arm up for so long that he can no longer take it down. Lovino has been folding his wings severely for a long period of time and it has damaged them. Without seeing them I cannot do much, since it is hard to tell what is an exaggeration and what is not. But it is very likely he will need a brace, should he hope to fly normally and have his wings return to a healthy position. If he does not, in a few years he may reach a point where he might never fly again. It will be the decision for him, revealing his wings to the world to wear a brace, or never fly again."

All three of the other people present were shocked, and they only nodded wordlessly in response to it. "Has he said anything to you about his wings?" Matthew asked softly, hoping that maybe they might be able to convince Lovino to show them to a Ivan so they could figure out what to do.

"When I asked previously about them since I had a few concerns like these before you came to me, he said that because of criteria if he could trust me he might show them," the Russian man explained, his fluffy wings shuffling as he was worried.

Arthur spoke up next saying, "I was told a similar thing just yesterday when we had gotten onto the topic of wings. We were more talking to each other about the wings of the person we liked, since we both kind of figured it out without asking, and it just came up since Lovino mentioned that he didn't think his wings were all that great and I said that I would be the judge of that. I do not know if it means he'd show me, but he said 'maybe you will be' and then walked off since it was time to head to our lockers before class."

Gilbert and Matthew looked to each other and nodded, the latter talking once more. "Look, we'll try meet up sometime in the next week, I want to wait until after Friday though. It'll be too much stress on him since he's planning on asking Antonio out and I know it's obvious to all of us he really likes him and wants it to go well. Then we can tell him, gently and stuff so he has time to process it. I want him to get better, I really do, but when he gets upset he can tend to sneak off flying in the night and I doubt that's good for his wings."

The group nodded and discussed potential plans, before deciding perhaps a sleepover at Matthew's on the Friday night and Lovino can come over after his date (since the plan was for Lovino to ask him out as they were hanging out) and tell them about it. The future, however, held much, much more than anyone could have planned.


	11. Update and Q&A

Hey guys, I just wanted to put in an announcement here!

Three more of the letters have been guessed by a guest user! All of lower case bad is now guessed: broken, alone, depressed. Uppercase BAD has one guessed, B, Angry, D.

I would also like to mention the guest that commented about wings and asked questions about if you could dye them etc. Yes, it is poss to dye them, but it only lasts for as long as the feathers last. When new feathers grow in they're the original colour not the dyed. Especially since wings are large, to repeatedly dye them is expensive and takes more time than Lovino sees to be necessary. Changing the colour of your wings is generally frowned upon however since wings are apart of yourself and it's seen as 'trying too hard etc' and the whole culture is meant to be embracing your wings naturally.

Culture regarding wings is something that differs around the world though. Bright and colourful wings are rare, ones that differ from the eye colour I mean, and multicoloured wings are even rarer. Before he hid them, most of the time people clearly recognise the colours and design of the bi flag on Lovino's wings but even if they don't and they just see it they presume he dyed it (blue and pink make purple so the purple is a result of mixing dyed to them) and so dislike it since it's unnatural.

Plucking feathers is something that is considered a form of self harm and is something a few of the characters have done in the past, Lovino being one of them. He has since stopped because of his friends helping him through however. Most of the time they are plucked in a way of self harm either because they dislike their wings or as a similar way to pulling at hair or scratching etc if that makes sense.

Of course some people are born with deformed wings, or have to get them amputated. Some are born without them entirely but it's rare. It really depends on the situation as to how they're treated. Most people are treated normally and there is a lot of support to help people with deformed wings fly again. The reason odd wing colour often is an issue when it's related with dyeing wings is more because it's going against nature. Lovino's past also plays a role as to why he is afraid to show his wings, which has now lead them to be damaged.

People wash their wings first by preening them (getting rid of the old feathers) and either using a product of their choice and water or whatever they wish really, it's what works for them. People don't really care as long as you take care of them. It's like a social thing, you gotta keep them nice.

You learn to fly either by parents or a flying school (that's kinda like swimming lessons but flying). And of course there are people too afraid to fly or choose not to. I hope this answers your questions!


End file.
